I’m starting to feel that the healthy aspects of my life are warranted for spiritual purposes.. I’ve begun to wonder of joy is a spiritual right… Thus warranted for the sake of the soul.

Haven’t posted in a while.. However, I feel it may be time to start.. Pseudo names and everything.. Exciting, yes?

To do: privacy settings… Code names. Innuendos.. Groping..

See you soon.

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I woke up today and went to take my exam. I didn’t take the 8/10 paper of notes we were allowed to use. It was fine, I still made a decent grade on just what I’d learned. Isn’t that more a testament to my investment to the class? I think so.

Anywho. Given that driving my car is not optional, I asked my brother’s girlfriend, fiance, baby-mama, friend, whatever to come pick me up and we left to their home so I could spend time with them… The day was pretty relaxed.. We watched a bit of movies and television. Played a few video games.. Entertaining stuff.. I won’t get into details but the conversation topic for the family was generally the same. Money, their future. Hopes. Far fetched dreams. It got me to thinking about how often the conversation was revolving around these things and how little had changed since the last time I’d visited.. All that talk and little action.. It was that there was no desire for action or understanding of the requirements for said action.. It was more a fear of action, and a debilitating misunderstanding of the sacrifices associated with taking action.. I left the house feeling a little depressed and a lot hopeful about things getting better according to chance.. Which, isn’t a very stable bookshelf to tuck hope into..

I got into the house and remembered that a few of the things I read recently would really affect a lot of change in my brother and his views.. So I asked him if I gave him something to read, if he would actually do so.. Without hesitation or consideration, he said “probably not.”. I’m not sure if this is because of an issue with pride, self-acceptance, or fear. I do wonder, though, if its a combination of these things. Somewhat interested though, he began to finger through the book. Starting with the cover and flipping to the first few pages.. Back to the index.. I mentioned the only few things I though were important where the first three or so chapters. Which was half the book. (Relatively a small book, I suppose.). At which point he said “that book is bullshit. Its basically just a kick in your face.”. After he tried to explain that he meant “your” figuratively to describe “us” and “us” I’m assuming to describe everyone in the middle-classes.. He said “it basically is saying, you’re a loser, too bad, get over it” or something to that affect. I responded with “no, its more like ‘you aren’t perfect, neither am I, but we all have to take responsibility for our actions and our lives.”. I could tell there was a shift in his emotional state from a “this is stupid and self-righteous, self-help mumbo-jumbo that isn’t for me” to a resounding “how dare you say something like that, I’m out of here.”. So, after a few reasonable examples of how I thought this was important. He left.

I did a few dishes, fooled around a bit with some pizza I was cooking and noticed a stink bug on my wallet. I thought for a second about what to do. Obviously, if you smash it, it’ll leave a rotten and unpleasant stench. But if I ignored it, it was hard to say what would go wrong.. So, I decided to pick it up and take it out… And I thought to myself.. Life is like a stink bug, if you deal with it out of emotional distress, a need to excerpt superiority, or any host of psychological complexities, you’ll get a terrible back lashing of misfortune and bad decisions and a metaphorical stench over your life. If you ignore the problem, it could result in a compounding problem and issues from said ignorance. But if you deal with the problem head-on and are proactive about the changes. Then your chances for a positive change and good results will be assured.

I would like more spirit in my life.  Individuals happy about life and hungry for the future.